


This is Just for Me

by Cocoon02



Category: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Angst, Confessions, F/F, FangRai, Find Your Own Happy Ending, Mysterious Meetings, Romance, Sexual Tension, flight, nicknames/pet names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:07:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cocoon02/pseuds/Cocoon02
Summary: The end of the world is drawing near. After recieving a mysterious note from Fang asking to meet before it's too late, Lightning must pause her mission to track her down and see what she has to say.
Relationships: Lightning/Oerba Yun Fang
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	This is Just for Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a little something I was writing for myself (hense the title), but I think it turned out good enough to share. Enjoy!
> 
> (For anyone who might be curious/might care, since the outfits are important to the game I though I'd mention that I always have Lightning wear the "Hunter of the Wild" garb and the Monoculus Mask when I'm in the Dead Dunes, so that's what she's wearing here)

The desert was a real pain in the ass.

Lightning slipped on a mask to keep the sand out of her lungs as the train hissed behind her, ready to make its trip back to Luxerion. Other than a single attendant and a merchant, there were two or three tourists hanging around the station; goddess knows why. The Dead Dunes were nothing more than advertised: dunes, full of shifty sand and bones. She supposed the tourists were either there for the ruins underneath the dunes, or to try and make their way to Ruffian, which if they asked her, wasn't worth the deadly trip.

For them, anyway.

“Only for you, Fang.” She muttered, and took her first step off of the constructed train platform into the sand. She pushed through with relative ease, having been here before several times, but that didn’t mean walking on uncertain ground was pleasant.

“I wonder what she wants from you.” Came Hope’s voice from her earpiece. “The message didn’t say?”

“I told you what it said, Hope, she wants me to meet her at her place.”

_ “So you said, but what about? Fang knows as well as we do that there’s no time to waste.” _

“Maybe that’s why she wants to see me.”

She could hear the merchant unsuccessfully try to sell his wares to one of the tourists as she reached the top of the first mound, effectively leaving civilization behind.

One down, about a hundred more to go.

_ “Fang isn’t usually so secretive.” _

Lightning pulled down her mask for a slightly cooler breath. “Oh, and you’ve been so forthcoming?”

_ “Come on, Light, I’ve told you everything I can, you know that.” _ He sounded hurt, whatever that meant anymore.  _ “And anyway, this isn’t about me. It’s about Fang. I’ve done some digging, and she hasn’t been active since the Order took the Clavis. Then last night when she sent her message, she suddenly appeared again in Ruffian.” _

“I could have told you that.” Lightning grunted, sweeping her gaze across the sands to the horizon as she successfully scaled another hill. “We made a date for the end, in Luxerion. I didn’t think I’d be seeing her until then.”

_ “Have you considered that the message didn’t come from Fang at all? It’s not exactly a secret that you two worked together, and you both have your share of enemies.” _

Lightning shook her head, not really caring whether or not Hope could see her in the middle of nowhere. She wasn’t really sure what was and wasn’t out of his range. “She addressed the note to ‘Sunshine.’ No one else calls me that, and I doubt anyone else would know about it.”

That kept Hope quiet for a while, so she was able to trudge her way to more solid ground in relative peace. It was easier to walk once she cleared the actual dunes, and also easier to think. With less of her mind blindly focused on moving forward, she was able to wonder further on Fang's note.

_ Sunshine, _

_ You're a hard woman to track down, you know that? If you get this, meet me in Ruffian before the end, there's one last thing we need to talk about. _

What else was there? They both knew what was going to happen if they couldn't get through to Vanille on the final day. They knew there was nothing they could do about the end of the world. Had she changed her mind about laying low, did she want to come along for these last few days?

Lightning thought about that, and decided she wouldn't mind. It had been nice fighting alongside Fang again, and it certainly felt better than fighting alone, she'd been doing that for far too long. She and Fang had a way of working off of each other's movements that she'd never had with anyone else. Even Hope had noticed.

_ “You work well together.”  _ He'd said.  _ “It's a shame she's leaving.” _

Ruffian came into sight soon enough. It was a settlement, technically, but it consisted of nothing more than a single building, carved into the stone. The bandits that called the place home tended to drift through, resting whenever and wherever they wanted, usually near the bar. It almost reminded Lightning of the little place NORA ran back in Bodhum, and New Bodhum after. A little of Lebreau's cooking wouldn't hurt, either.

A few bandits who recognized her nodded as she passed them by, but she paid them little mind. Fang probably knew all their names, but she couldn’t keep track. She didn’t have the time, or the mental energy, really. Every part of her had to be focused on saving as many people as possible, buying the world just that much more time. Names were irrelevant to that mission. Maybe if she survived this, she would make the effort.

She did stop for Adonis. He was standing in the hallway that led to Fang’s quarters, blocking her path the way he had before she’d been allowed to meet with Fang the first time. Arms crossed and tense, she expected bad news from Fang’s right-hand man.

“Good to see you again.” He said, gesturing behind him. “Boss is waiting for you.”

Lightning pulled off her mask, she wouldn’t need it now. “I know, I got her note. Any idea what this is about?”

Adonis shook his head. He looked worried. “Nope, no clue. She just showed up this morning and said not to let anyone through except you. And here you are, so.”

He stepped aside. Lightning hesitated before moving forward, but Adonis nodded for her to go ahead. She felt his eyes on her neck the entire way down the hall.

“What is going on here?” She muttered, just loud enough for Hope to hear. She didn’t expect answers from him, but he knew Fang too, maybe he’d at least have a guess.

_ “I don’t know.” _ He said. Very helpful.  _ “But we’re about to find out. I doubt Fang has anything sinister planned.” _

“No, of course not. If she wanted to do anything to me she had plenty of chances down in the ruins. Goddess, it felt like we were stuck down there for days.” She paused at the corner before Fang’s room. This mystery would be solved as soon as she turned left.

But for a long moment, she didn’t.

_ “Lightning? You okay?” _

“Yeah, I’m fine, just…” She reached for her ear, placing her fingers delicately around the earpiece that allowed them to talk from almost anywhere. “I’m leaving you behind, okay? I have a feeling.”

_ “Uh, sure, Light. You know I’ll be able to pick up everything anyway, right?” _

“I know. It’s okay, but I think this is just for me.”

_ “Whatever you say.” _

Lightning took out the earpiece and placed it gently on a side table, behind a few things. These people were bandits, after all. A quick, deep breath sent her forward.

Fang was sat at the desk at the end of the room, just the way she’d been when they were first reunited. She turned when the footsteps stopped, with a bit of a subdued grin. She left her staff sitting on the desk and rose to her feet, sandals clapping softly on the floor.

“There you are, Sunshine. I was starting to think you decided not to come.”

“Well, you asked me to come.” Lightning said. “So I came. The world is going to end in three days, we might not get this chance again.”

“I know, so I’m really glad you’re here.” Fang gestured for her to come in. “We need to talk.”

They both drifted closer to the center of the room. Somehow, the air told Lightning that this wasn’t a conversation to sit for. She noticed Fang kept all her weight on her right foot as she let out a long sigh.

“Look, I…” Fang stopped and looked past her. “The kid is going to hear all of this, right? He’s got his eyes everywhere, or however that works?”

Lightning nodded. “I took out the earpiece that lets him talk to me, but yeah, he sees everything. I don’t know how it works exactly, either.”

“Alright.” Fang grumbled. She stepped past Lightning towards the hall, but not before she caught a glimpse of what could have been a flush to her cheeks.

“If you’re hearing this, Estheim, knock it off for a little while, yeah? I don't want this getting out, and I don't have time to kick your ass if it does."

"Fang, I don't think Hope's a gossip. Besides," Lightning grabbed her shoulder, turning her back so they were face-to-face again, "he's trapped up in the Ark. It's just you and me down here."

That made something soften in Fang. Or maybe it was her touch, or just the eye contact. Regardless, she settled one of her own hands on Lightning's. "Right. Just us. Um…" This time the blush was unmistakable, and they both knew it. She scrunched her nose and ducked her head. “Dammit, this is so stupid.”

At once, both of their hands fell. Lightning had never seen her so… flustered. “What are you talking about?” She asked. “Just tell me what you wanted to say.”

Fang scoffed. “You make it sound easy.”

“Why isn’t it?”

“Because… because I’m out of time.” Fang’s words burst from her mouth, and her feet carried her in circles. “Again. I thought I didn’t have any time, and then I thought there’d be enough, and now… We have  _ one _ shot at this, Lightning. If we can’t stop Vanille, it’s game over. For her, for all of us.” She stopped, her voice thick with what could have been grief. “If we can’t stop Vanille, then none of this even matters.”

“But when we  _ do _ stop Vanille, you’ll be glad you prepared for the worst.” Lightning said, and she meant every word. She hadn't fought tooth and nail for a thousand years just to fail now, when the end was finally in sight.

“Even so, there’s no guarantee you’ll be born again with the rest of us, right?" Fang smiled sadly, gesturing over her. "You’re not exactly human anymore.”

“We’ve challenged fate before. That’s why we’re here.”

“Maybe.”

“Come on, Fang.” Lightning crossed her arms. “Where is this coming from? You’ve always been a fighter, I can’t believe you’d let something silly like the end of the world stop you.”

Fang sighed. “I’m trying not to. That’s why I wrote you.” She wandered back to her desk and leaned against it, rubbing at her forehead. She muttered something in Oerban, something that sounded suspiciously vulgar. “Goddess, I’m just wasting your time. This was a terrible idea.”

“Fang…”

Lightning placed herself in front of her, close enough that Fang stood up straight, and looked down into her eyes. Fang’s own—green, and soft, and scared—were almost magnetic.

“Talk to me.” She said. “We’ve literally fought demons and gods, and we should both be dead a dozen times over. This is nothing.” Her voice softened, and she was compelled to touch Fang’s arm. “It’s my job to save souls. I can’t do my job right if you’ve got something this heavy weighing on yours.”

Fang scoffed, but not in tone. "You're really something else, Sunshine, you know that?"

"Yes." She let her hand fall. Lightning wouldn't speak again, not until Fang had said her piece. Whatever it was, she couldn't let her face the end of the world under its burden.

Fang seemed to understand, because she took a deep breath and fell against the desk once more, apparently for support.

"Goddess." She smiled, but tried to force it down, covering her mouth with one hand. Her many bracelets softly jingled against each other like tiny bells. "I'm sorry. Look, you might think I'm crazy for this, but I can't die knowing I never told you."

Lightning nodded for her to continue.

Fang was still struggling with her smile, it seemed to be involuntary. "Listen, Lightning, Claire, I…"

Lightning raised an eyebrow. Claire? No one called her that. She wasn't even sure how Fang knew that name.

"Shit, look, okay, can I do something completely crazy? You have permission to slap me if you hate it."

Were she and Hope wrong? Was Fang going to try and harm her after all? "Sure. But why would—"

And Fang kissed her.

It was rough, at first, like Fang really expected to be slapped and was trying to get it over with. She had her hands on Lightning's shoulders the way one lays their hands on a kitten, holding close but with a touch as light as a feather. It only lasted a few seconds, and by the time Fang relaxed, she was already pulling away.

Lightning hadn't kissed back, but it couldn't even occur to her at that speed. Instead she stood completely still, dumbstruck, only able to think about what Hope would say to her when she returned to the Ark in the morning.

_ "Well she certainly didn't  _ kill _ you." _

"I’ve wanted to do that for almost a thousand years." Fang's eyes were of a dog with its tail between its legs. She ran a few fingers over the single braid in her hair. "Go ahead and slap me, I can take it."

Had… had she hated that? Lightning decided that, no, she hadn't. She actually liked it, though the kiss didn't do the same thing for her she suspected it did for Fang. It was nice. Not as foreign as she might have expected, had she seen it coming. She might even let it happen again.

“I’m not going to slap you, Fang.”

That came as a huge shock to her. So much so that Fang laughed. “Damn, Sunshine.” She leaned back against the desk yet again, clearly unsure of what to do with herself. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

Lightning dropped her eyes and positioned herself beside Fang against the desk. Side-by-side, propped up by their hands, the two of them simply stood for a little while. The music from the bar at the other side of Ruffian seemed louder in their silence, a soft but vigorous melody from one of the few guitars left in the world. There were maybe five or six moments like this left for the whole world. Quiet. Peaceful.

It was hard to break that, but Lightning was used to breaking things. “You could tell me why you called me here. Why you kissed me.”

She said this without looking at Fang, but when she threw her head back in laughter, there was no looking away.

“Goddess, I kissed you so I wouldn’t have to say it. You’re gonna make me spell it out, aren’t you?”

“I guess I am.”

“Ugh, I knew I wasn’t going to get out of this.” Fang groaned, slumping a bit in her stance. But then she fully stood, and offered Lightning her hand. “Come on, it’s stuffy in here, let’s do this outside.”

This was clearly a stalling tactic, but Lightning decided to humor her. She took Fang’s hand, allowing herself to be led out. As they passed the hiding place for her earpiece, she briefly considered picking it up, but only briefly. She’d leave Hope hanging for a while longer.

Fang took her just outside, above the small pond on the cliffs that overlooked Ruffian. They sat together, legs dangling over the side like children. Fang swung hers, her heels kicking into the cliffside and sending bits of rock falling into the water. They both watched as ripples met and broke and reached either side of the water.

“So.” Lightning looked over at Fang, momentarily distracted by her single braid that had fallen out of place. “What’s this all about, Fang?”

Fang fixed the braid, tucking it behind her ear, where it would inevitably fall again. “Do you remember when we met, a thousand years ago?”

Lightning nodded. “Palumpolum. You and Snow swooped in and saved the day, I was about to take on an army and probably die so that Hope could escape.”

“Right. Then you and I took off, Snow protected the kid, and it all snowballed into this moment right now?”

“I suppose you could put it that way.” The sun had started to set while she was inside, and it was falling quickly into her line of sight. Lightning let her gaze drift back to the water. “You and I were crystal for a huge chunk of that time.”

“Yeah.” Fang said. “Yeah we were. But before that, before that we were just kids. Pawns of gods we didn’t understand. We were reckless, we could have died a thousand times over, but we didn’t.” Her voice became almost wistful, she dragged her hands in and out of the sand. “We all thought you were dead, Sunshine. We never talked about it, but that’s what we thought. I tried… everything to convince myself there was a reason you were staying away, any other explanation. But five hundred years is a long time to keep us waiting.”

“It wasn’t exactly in my control, Fang.”

“No, I know.” She sighed, shaking her head. “But when the rumors about this ‘Savior’ business started, I didn’t even consider it might be you. I just thought, ‘Oh boy, another poor sap dragged into saving the world because we failed.’” Fang paused, and one of her hands moved to take Lightning’s tightly. “Then I heard what you did in Yusnaan, with Snow, and I knew. No one else would have nearly blown up a city to save that asshole.”

Lightning huffed in soft amusement, stroked an affirmative over Fang’s hand with her thumb. “For your information, it was Hope’s idea to use explosives. I would have figured something else out, but we’re pretty low on time.”

“Huh. Didn’t take the kid for a firebug.”

“You should have heard him, he was very excited.”

Lightning didn’t let the silence stand long. It was true, they were running low on time. If it was just her and Fang, she might have let it go a while longer. But it wasn’t. The whole world was running out of time, what was left of it, and it was her job to try and save as many people as possible so that when it did end, when god made a brand new world, everyone she could reach had the chance to be reborn and live a  _ real _ life, not this pseudo-eternity they’d been trapped in for half a millenium.

She took a breath, the kind you take before you say something you’d rather not. “Fang… If I could, I would love to sit here with you until this whole place caves in, but I have a job to do. So do you. Vanille needs you.”

The mention of her sister seemed to have its intended effect. Fang squeezed her hand even tighter, it almost hurt. “I know, I know. I’m not  _ trying _ to stall, I just… I’m not good at this kind of thing, never was.”

“Good at  _ what _ , Fang?”

“At, you know, telling people I love them.”

She’d been hedging for so long that the blunt admission left Lightning laughing, but only for a moment. “I love you, too, Fang.” She said after clearing the laughter from her throat. “That’s what a family is.”

“Ouch.” Fang pulled her hand away, working her fingers back into the sand. “Was the kiss that bad?”

That was the moment where everything clicked. She wasn’t sure exactly what it was that did it: the mention of the kiss, the way Fang pulled away, or maybe all the hints from Fang’s behavior suddenly registered at once. But regardless, she suddenly understood.

“Oh.”

“I knew this was stupid.” Fang muttered. She inched forward closer to the edge of the cliff, as if she intended to jump down the twenty feet or so into the water. “Just, don’t worry about it, you have more important things to do.”

“No—Fang.” Lightning grabbed her shoulder to stop her. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I didn’t understand.”

Fang sighed. As she knew it would, the braid fell again. “I wasn’t exactly helpful in that department.” She looked back at her. “I don’t need you to feel the same way, I know you’re not really about that kind of thing, but I couldn’t let the world end without telling you how I feel.” She snorted. “God, how corny was that?”

“Pretty corny.” Lightning smiled. That seemed to make Fang feel better. “I’m glad you did, really. I wouldn’t want that to weigh on you while we’re trying to save the world.”

“Tch, thanks.” Fang looked out over Ruffian, leaning her head to the side where Lightning’s hand still sat on her shoulder. “I don’t know what I expected to happen, really, I’m just glad you’re not upset with me.”

“Of course not. You feel the way you feel, there’s nothing wrong with that.” When Fang was silent for a little while, she gave her shoulder a bit of a shake. “Hey, Fang?”

“Yeah?”

Lightning kissed  _ her _ this time. She only sort of knew what she was doing, but that must have been enough because Fang responded with relief on her tongue and desperation in her hands that drew them closer together because they might never get the chance to do this again, and she wasn’t going to waste it.

Though just like before, Fang pulled back first. Her expression was slightly sheepish and seemed to say,  _ “Sorry, but you started it.” _

“When this is all over,” Lightning started, pushing Fang’s braid back herself this time, “we’ll talk about us again. I promise.”

Fang leaned into her touch with hesitation, but also hope, and nodded. Maybe someday if they came out of this alive, they’d both get the chance to get used to that kind of contact. Simple affection. “Okay, but then you have to promise me one more thing.” She said.

“What is it?”

“Don’t die.”

* * *

They made their way back down into Ruffian, catching a few glances from the other bandits (it’s not as if the cliff were particularly hidden) but neither of them cared. Adonis caught their eyes too, but only to nod approvingly. Actually, he almost seemed relieved.

Lightning grabbed her earpiece from where she’d hidden it, but didn’t put it back on just yet. She kept the little device tucked away in her palm. Hope probably had a million things to say, but he could wait.

“I guess this is it.” Fang sighed, leaning against her desk. She tapped her fingers against the wood, making very uneven sounds when occasionally her nails hit as well. “The part where we say goodbye.”

“That’s not entirely true.” Lightning reminded her. “We have one last date in Luxerion.”

Fang chuckled bleakly. “Yeah, I guess we do. One last day. One last chance to convince Vanille not to sacrifice herself…”

Their hands came together like magnets. “It’s going to be alright. We’ll get through to her.”

“God, I hope so.” Fang squeezed her hand. “It was good to see you again, Sunshine. You get back out there and save some souls, alright? I still have some loose ends to tie up.”

“I will. See you in a couple days.”

“Yeah.”

It was hard to pull their hands apart, to turn her back, to walk across the desert and return to the train station, but there was too much responsibility on Lightning’s shoulders for her to stay, to digest, to figure out how exactly she felt about Fang and those kisses. The desert sun beat down upon her as it always did, sand worked its way into her shoes, but she didn’t notice any of it. She boarded the train headed for Yusnaan, which she had intended to do anyway, but really she would have boarded any train that showed up.

When she was settled into her seat, she pulled the earpiece from a pocket and stared at it. She had no idea what it was made of, but it was almost invisible once in her ear, most people never knew that she wore it. Hope had insisted on her having it when this whole mission got started.  _ “I can’t go with you.” _ He’d explained.  _ “But I can still help. _ ”

Lightning sighed, fitting the small device back into her ear. Surprisingly, Hope didn’t immediately ask for a report. She gave him a second though, just in case.

“Hey, kid. I’m back.”

_ “Lightning. How’d it go?” _

She looked out the window as the last of The Dead Dunes sped out of view. The desolate sands gave way to some of the last remaining forests in the world. “Weren’t you watching?”

_ “Come on, Light, it sounds wrong when you put it that way.” _

“Sorry.”

_ “So how’d it go?”  _ Hope repeated.

Lightning leaned back into her seat and closed her eyes, listening to the world pass her by. “Let’s just hope we all make it through this.”

_ “Do you think you’ll have a double wedding with Serah when we do?” _

“Tch, shut up.” And he did, for once. She kept her eyes closed, listening now to the other passengers on the train. A man in the back was talking to his companion about a cat his daughter had been secretly keeping. A child begged their mother to get ice cream once they got to Yusnaan. Two other women, sitting closer to Lightning than the others, raved to each other about the last play they’d seen, which sounded like the same one Lightning herself had performed in, when she blew up the stage.

These people… they knew the world was ending. Everyone did. It had been for five hundred years. But they still talked, acted like they had years yet to live. They would, if she did her job right and they were reborn in god’s new world, but not everyone believed that. Did these people? Or had they simply accepted that their long, long lives might finally end and decided not to fight it?

She couldn’t imagine that, not fighting. She’d been fighting one enemy or another for hundreds of years, was preparing now to literally fight god. If she won that fight, they’d have a new world, and… probably nothing to fight anymore.

Instead, she’d have her family back. Serah, Snow, Hope. Sazh and Dajh could be together, Fang and Vanille could be sisters again.

Fang…

She sighed heavily and opened her eyes; Yusnaan came into view on the horizon. The lights of the city, anyway. What was she going to do about Fang? She did love her, but was it in the way she wanted? The kisses were nice, the touches. Did she want that? Did she want more?

Fang had had hundreds of years to figure that out, Lightning, so far, had about an hour. Maybe two. She couldn’t be expected to have it all worked through in the next few days, but she felt like… when she saw Fang again in whatever the next world was, she wanted to be able to look her in the eye and give her an answer.

The train sounded to warn the passengers the next stop was coming up, and she decided to push down those thoughts for now. She was the Savior, and she had a job to do.

“Hey, Hope? Can you find Pickett? I need to give him that letter from his father.”

_ “Of course, give me a second.” _


End file.
